The time of courtship is not the time for feeling of pecking and kissing. it is a serious matter. it is a time to talk and get it straight away. it is expected of your courtship to prepare you for marriage, but, nowadays, reverse is the case, the activities in courtship can never secure happy marriage life.There are lot of things to know and understand, and how can you know and understand if you don't talk. *Different Pictures of Courtships*
1. Mute courtships: these are the set of people that don't talk freely in there courtship, whereby, fiancé is acting in a strange manner to his fiancée and vice versa. It is not that they are deaf dump but they are not close in heart. The major cause of this is ignorance. Sometimes, Christian brothers and sisters practice this kind of courtship in the name of spirituality. Also, some people will not want to offend their partners may be because of position, age difference or wealth, and as a result of that they will be mute throughout their courtship life.
2. Talkative courtships: These are the set of people that talk in their courtship but without sense. They never talk right things. They are inclined in excessive talking, that is, always ready to talk even at length but you cannot hold any point. They talk freely about unimportant things in a friendly way. This kind of courtship is usually full of gossip and malice.
3. Flippant courtships: these are the set of people that joke too much in their courtship. They take things for granted and turn everything to child play. They are never serious with each other. Serious matters are not common in their discussion. They thought inappropriately and laugh on things that doesn't worth it. They are too playful, frolicsome, perky, lighthearted, giddy, frivolous and silly in nature. Their talks lack intellectual substance and things not worth serious consideration. Full of trivial discussions.
4. Flamboyant courtships: These are the set of people that believe everything is fun. They never talk to plan, they talk to spend. Too extravagant. They are full of eatry, clubbing, film house etc. They can never sit down at the round table to talk about progress in their courtship, but the next party to attend.
5. Constructive courtship: these are the set of people that construct their marital future with the content of their discussions. They are full of talks that are carefully considered and meant to be helpful to their marriage in the nearest future. Their talks, jokes, and fun are building them up for glorious marriage. They are polite and moderate in every sense of life. Well-mannered, socially superior to ordinary people and considered refined or cultured. They talk with grace, courtesy, love and have respect for each other. Maturity is written all over them. *Keys that can help you to talk constructively* 1. Interview: Always try to ask questions and make enquiry of what that looks ambiguous to you 2. Assessment: Always look back and see if what you have discussed is able to give you glorious home. Have you dealt with all issues that ought to be dealt with? Never go into the marriage if you are not sure. Have you talked about: 1. background 2. Do's and dont's 3. Weaknesses: e.g. snoring, eating habit e.t.c 4. Formal education: to what level? 5. Verbal skills: how does he/she talks
6. Expected roles of both individuals in the marriage: His roles as husband and father and her roles as wife mother of your children
7. Love and respect: to what extent does she respect or submit to you as her husband, and to what extent does he loves you as his wife.
8. Number of children
9. type of family planning
10. Gap between children
11. Child rearing view
12. Mental, social, psychological, spiritual, philosophy of life
13. Ways of dealing with issues
14. Talk about smoking, drinking, alcohol and coming home late
15. Night journey
16. involvement of in- laws and parental influence
17. Sense of humour: are you a person that doesn't laugh or joke, just study and pray every minute? talk about it now
18. Punctuality. To be continued.
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